Don’t Be a “Chill” Host: How Purposeful Authority Creates Richer Experiences

_{Why firm, purposeful authority creates richer community experiences}

_{After years curating gatherings and attending community events of all kinds there is one thing that really grinds my gears: when hosts "let things happen naturally.” When leaders are hands-off, it's easy to loose track of the intention of the event, who it’s for, or what “good” looks like. No one will step up to lead without worrying they’re stepping on your toes. Your job as host is to guide people—intentionally—through the experience.}

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_{What “Chill” Costs You}

<sub>- Confusion: newcomers miss key info and feel lost.
- Drift from the event’s intention: norms and boundaries get fuzzy.
- Thin energy: momentum stalls because no one is directing it.</sub>

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_{Lead People Through the Experience}

_{Purposeful authority isn’t bossy—it’s a service to the group. Attendees are looking to you for cues on norms and flow.
(ex. Get people's attention - "the activity portion of this art meet up is now over. I invite you to work on your own project for the next 1hour before we wrap up. I encourage you to meet someone new if you have not already").}

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_{Actually govern the room}

_{When a leader or member addresses the group and side chatter drowns them out, step in. Ask for attention in a way that fits your culture—a brief chant, a bell/gong, or a clear call.
(Example: I recently saw a leader of a fitness community manage a 100-person crowd. Instead of “If you hear me, clap once”—which can feel infantilizing—they said, “Take a knee.” The front row dropped, the cue rippled back, chatter stopped, and everyone could see and hear. Without that move, newcomers would’ve missed crucial instructions).}

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_{Open with purpose}

_{Script: “We’re here to [goal]. By the end, you’ll have [outcome].” Thirty seconds is enough. Name the goal, the flow, and how participation works.}

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_{Set boundaries}

_{Who this is for, the format, safety notes, and norms. Clarity creates freedom.
(Example: “This is a no-phones event. If you need to use your phone, please step outside.”)}

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_{Model the behavior}

_{Demonstrate the tone, energy, and inclusion you want to see. If you want a welcoming culture, introduce yourself to newcomers first—then invite others to do the same.}

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_{Use your authority to uplift members}

_{Bring people into the spotlight to celebrate their wins or contributions to the community. Inviting others to contribute gives them permission and gives them the oppertunity to have a deeper sense of belonging.i.e Invite a member who is a photographer to come and take pictures of your next event.At the event highlight them the community and post in the Heylo community chat to say thank you.}

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_{Intervene when needed}

_{Protect the room. If someone is distracting during an important announcement, goes off-topic, or breaks norms, step in kindly and early. You may not win a popularity contest—and that’s okay.}

_{“The anger of the shushed is concentrated, while the gratitude of the protected is diffuse.”}

_{— Priya Parker, The Art of Gathering}

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_{Close with intent}

_{Don’t let the event trickle out. Reflect one takeaway, share the next step, invite a specific follow-up action (e.g., “After the event, share a highlight in the Heylo chat”), and clearly signal the end of the event.}

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_{Further Reading}

_{If this resonates, Priya Parker’s The Art of Gathering is a fantastic deep dive on hosting with intention and generous authority.
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_{About the author}

_{Gabriel Ghiglione, Global Head of Community at Heylo
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Gabriel Ghiglione is a community builder and Global Head of Community at Heylo. He’s helped launch and scale running, creative, and social groups in 18+ cities and now coaches leaders on structure, monetization, and culture design. He shares practical playbooks so communities thrive online and IRL.}

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